The 10 weirdest trademarks filed this week

Real US trademark applications filed Oct 8–17, 2026. Every name here was filed with the USPTO by an actual business. Each one links to its official record.

1. STINKY SIT — Truth in advertising, at last.for commode chairs (class 10)
2. HALF CHICKEN MAN — No further details were provided about the other half.for seasonings (class 30)
3. YE OLDE WOODBOOGER — Also a seasoning. The spice aisle is having a week.for seasoning (class 30)
4. CRABFAX — Not to be confused with your credit report.for motion sickness medicine, among other things (class 5)
5. EAT LIGHTNING, CRAP THUNDER. — Mickey from Rocky would approve. Your neighbors' dogs would not.for fireworks (class 13)
6. I EAT NAILS FOR BREAKFAST — The name promises considerably more crunch than the product.for crackers (class 30)
7. BUTT SCISSORS — It's an exercise. Probably.for Pilates classes (class 41)
8. I FAILED KINDERGARTEN — Bold positioning for a career coach. We respect it.for career coaching, plus shirts and hats (class 41)
9. DR. MICROPLASTICS — The credentials are, at least, everywhere.for consulting about children's education (class 41)
10. PICKLECLAUS — The holiday crossover nobody asked for and everybody now needs.for Christmas tree ornaments (class 28)